The Fluxion of Fortune
for Isaac, who mastered the Mint but not the market
Pronunciation Guide: ẋ is "ex dot" · x̄ is "ex bar"
In Woolsthorpe nights of candle-glow, He watched the apple fall just so— A whisper of ẋ murmured low, A hint of what he'd one day know.
He carved the world in curves of light, Bent stars with math he birthed outright; But markets?—aye, a different fight, Whose tides he failed to fluxion right.
For coin obeys no cosmic plot, It drifts where fevered humors rot; He'd trace a comet's path on the spot— Yet never guessed his stocks were naught.
He could have tamed each rising bar, Mapped fortunes by x̄ afar, And steered his purse like some bright star— Not wrecked upon a South Sea scar.
But genius trips where mortals trot, And even Newton, spared no blot, Might've saved his gold—had he used ẋ To see the crash begot.
And thus his wealth slipped through the sieve, With no derivative to give; He mastered laws by which stars live, But found the Market... negative.